Sunday, July 19, 2009

Scissors Paper Rock...Situation III

This time the game has turned tables. Its not Rock Paper Scissors. But the other way round.The three elements are in battleground. Coming to terms with each other...

Searching a steady ground and trying to unravel the situation to find the hidden meaning.

Can sense the strings are breaking slowly. Wondering whats going wrong? Can things be the same as before?

She is an inseperable part of the game. Don't back out. Things would turn worse. And she knows it.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Comfortably Numb

This is not the famous Pink Floyd song but the present state of mind I am going through. I AM COMFORTABLY NUMB. Numb to what people say, numb to what people think, numb to what they are doing, numb to their cries, their cribbing about the things around them, numb to what they think about me. I am numb.

Others may disapprove, it maybe a blow to my social life. I don't care. This may seem as a confession or a hate entry on the entire human community that I am a part of or just a 19 year old wannabe who is throwing her 'I don't care' attitude on everyone. But I like this state of denial which I am suffering. It maybe short term but I love it. I am what I am. I don't want to be accepted neither want to accept anyone.

I am living in the 'me' mode, in my own personal space in which I don’t allow anyone to enter. I am in the trance of myself. It may sound as some Paolo Coelho book but that’s how I feel. I am COMFORTABLY NUMB.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Anonymity of the Unknown...

As I again go to my introspection mode...

This time thinking about people. In my 19 years of life if I think of the number of faces I have come across, damn I would never be able to count it. People with strange facial features, absolutely different personalities, different thought processes and what my advertising prof said- "specifically defined" individuals.

When I walk from my hostel to college everyday, I come across certain "specifically defined" beings, who don't matter anything to me. There are some random acquaintances who I meet everyday yet I would never speak to them or never have any kind of association. Despite any connection with them I do share a certain bonding with them.

When I move out of the hostel, I know there would be some prototypes that I would come across. Just like the kid playing with his ball and the autowallahs waiting to get a customer and ask for lumpsome travelling charges. Then as I walk further and reach the busy streets, I am used to see the lady at 'Rasoi' dhaba serving hot parathas to the home food deprived hoggers, the two friends sitting in the roadside restaurant in their usual corner seat and having gupshup over snacks and not to forget the 'once upon a time' fauji who is now a lunatic swaggering with his typical army air in his style and the guy with everything Indianised and an intriguing panache walking alone in the road with no care and worries on his shoulders [ that what it seems through his walk].

We have our friends, relatives,'known' acquaintances but these are the people who cannot be categorised in any personal chronology. They are persistence of vision and mind which are seen and forgotten and never to be remembered once away from site.
These are the people who in their random nuances and at times the nano moments of eye contact which I often have with them are the ones who are constant in my dynamic rather monotonous life.