Just another garbage in the bin

Finally!!

After days, in fact months I finally put my mind to rest and gather words to write this. Times have been tough. Love, longing, nostalgia, change have been my soul-mates throughout. Wanderings are plenty but then no answers to be found.

Mind is troubled with troubles that I thought I would ever possess. Dreams have faded, passion is passionless, love is abstract.

I have distanced myself from everyone. Distanced myself from my self.

I should just stop this here!!

Another gibberish piece with utter randomness...

Silent Night

It was the silence of the night. The time of night adorned by the emptiness of the busy road and the darkness of sleeping houses. I was pensive and my music player in shuffle mode played the most desired music at that moment; taking me to a different world helping to gather my thoughts which were scattered in the cacophony of my routine.

It was at this time that I felt loneliness the most. I wanted to think of that someone but none came to my mind. The rational mind works under the brightness of the sun, whereas in the dark you tend to forget your notions and let loose your thoughts to wander in space. It reveals the possibilities that are suppressed. The half lit cigarette was busy fulfilling the physical urge inside me and allowed me to love its company. The creative rush trapped inside me for a very long time gushed out. I saw a bike passing wishing it could take me far far away from present and to a ride that does not end.

It was a momentary bliss which would fade away with sun rise. Sleep that was not ready to set in my eyes and letting go off the distress. As I stared at space wandering, why I was writing this? What meaning does these words make? No one would make any sense of these abstract phrases. Maybe the silence of dawn had this hypnotic effect on me. It was indeed magical and flawless, as as my narration in the play goes, yet, it is fleeting.

I didn't know when will I get this time again so I swayed with this weirdness and enjoyed this lonely company, thinking of nothing, just following the passing time; waiting for the first rays of the sun coming out of the veil of dawn.

FLASH back

13 days have passed by of me completing two decades of my existence on this planet. 20 years of a life that is still searching its meanings and it's goal. The last decade is crystal clear in my mind. The situations, people and all other tangible and intangible factors that have brought the best(and the worst!) in me. Changes have been major and mistakes done are endless. Some decisions taken and others neglected.

Alas! In this post I want to thank all those beautiful people who have stood by me on all odds and given me the much-needed love. I may have lost contact with some or very conveniently distanced myself in order to move on or just have forgotten in the tediousness and self- involved life.

Radhika: I dont even remember when I first met you. But you were the first friend that I ever had in the face of this earth. I am blessed to be still in touch with you.

Meetu and Meenu: I have always considered you as my sisters. As distances grew so did the sisterhood. Hope to meet you someday.

Medha: Classmate in true sense. Play buddies, same school, same class, same section, same school bus and a good samaritan.

Jilly: The phrase 'chaddi buddies' is for us. All the crazy things that we have done and still plan to do defines our friendship. And yes! one day we will have our moms' picture re-invented.

Akash: I don't know how you're name cropped up in my head when I was flashing back. But afterall you are my first 'guy' friend. No wonder I could miss you!

Jeet: With all the information we have gathered through our years of curiosity. It will be put in some good use some day. And ya I still haven't forgotten the fight we had in Sikkim. We still need to sort that out.

Mili, Mampa and others: We need to party harder. And Dil Chahta Hai is still my favourite track during puja pandal hopping.

Kinjal: You brought the notorious side of me. Wonder why our joint study sessions always ended up being dance classes!

Ishani: I considered you the perfect girl and was surprised when I missed you the most when I left school. I never knew I was so closed to you. Sorry for not reciprocating the friendship well.

Pallavi: You were a guardian angel at the most toughest time of my life. You saved me from the loneliness and disillusionment I faced when I joined my new school. It was not only a hand of friendship but also a helping hand to bring me back from the utter hatred I had for the rest of the class.

Madhurima: I don't mind being a lesbian with you. Love you my girlfriend even if you have a boyfriend to take care of.

Nishan: It took us only one year to know each other so well and become best of friends. Try hard, but I will be always hopeless.

Shubhra: Durga and Mahishasur can never be seperated. They share the best camaraderie in the whole wide world.

Parul: With all the eccentric baggage you carry with yourself Paola, I am simply amazed when you talk sense. No wonder you are the next big dangerous thing on earth! And Shu and me would always be your soul bodyguards.

Priyanka: How the hell do you come up with the crappiest of jokes and most sentimental speeches? As we both suffer from dissociative fugue and you with hypochondriasis, we will be in touch forever whatever milestones we cross.

Prabha: My gateway to France, learnt a lot from you.

Anjali, Tanya and Kanika: Will be your Delhi guide always taking you to the rare shores of the sea.

Drishty: I can boast of one artist friend! Pujas in Delhi could have never been better without you. We have to do one dance performance together.

Rick: You have actually made the virtual become real for me. Our friendship would last as long as your girlfriends' list in a lifetime.

Kannagi and Tuhina: My lifelines. What would I've gonna do without you guys! Fighting our ways together through thick and thin.

Prerna: Cannot imagine college without you. We still need to share a lot of clothes.

Anushka, Athira, Piyali: My family to whom I always want to see when I come back home.





Thank You everyone.